Wow...

It's been a little while since my last post. I guess I need to start paying more attention to things.

Things are going really well right now. Anna said, "I love you" last week and since then, my happiness level has shot through the roof. It's impossible for me to describe how happy I am.

CTC is going well. We're covering Safety and Sanitation, and then we're moving on to Tools and Equipment.

Anyway... I don't really feel like typing a whole lot right now, so I'm just gonna end this...

Life is like candy

it can be sweet, or it can be sour, but either way, you're always left wanting more.

I came up with that myself. Pretty good, huh?

Anyway... I got the lead for the school play! We're doing Charlotte's Web and I will be playing Wilbur. I'm really excited about it.

And to add to the overall excitement, I'm going to be spending the day with Anna tomorrow... well... whatever is left of it after school anyway.

For some reason, I feel as though tomorrow will be the perfect day to tell her that I love her. I know I said that I would wait for our one month, but if the opportunity presents itself tomorrow, and I'm fairly sure that it will, I don't think I'll be able to stop myself from saying it.

The sad thing is, while I've decided to tell her that I love her, I'm also terrified of saying it for the first time. I know Erin was telling the truth when she told me what Anna told her, but still... The last time I told somebody that I loved them, I had my heart broken into a million pieces. Granted, it didn't take long to pick myself up, but still; it caused physical pain. Not pleasant at all.

Hmm... I think I'll risk it. I may not want to have my heart broken again, but I have to take the risk. I wouldn't say it's true love, yet, but it's definitely real and it feels right to me. Just hearing her voice makes me smile. Holding her hand makes my heart race. When we kiss, my heart skips a beat. I would go on, but it's time for me to get off the computer and go to bed. I have a test tomorrow.

Auf Wiedersehen!

Can't believe I forgot to say this...

I kissed her last night. I couldn't stop smiling the whole way home, and didn't stop smiling until I fell asleep. I feel lighter than air and I can honestly say that I can't see how anything could possibly bring me down. Everything is perfect right now, and I thank God for everything that happened to bring me to this point, including the bad things.

And for those of you that don't believe in fate, let me show the chain of events that brought me to this point.

Matthew dies.
My dad sinks into depression and my parents already shaky marriage gets worse.
My mom starts cheating on my dad.
My parents split up.
I chose to go with my mom and Max, and we move to our current home.
I slowly begin to come out of my own depression and begin talking to people.
I make new friends.
I audition for and get a role in the school play.
I make more friends.
I audition for and get a role in the school musical.
I make even more friends and discover that I have feelings for Her.
I reveal my feelings to Her.
I go on a roller coaster of emotions, which ends with a broken heart.
Erin tells me that Anna likes me.
I ask Anna out.
Anna says yes, and I find out that I really like Anna.
I ask Anna to be my girlfriend.
She says yes, and I find out that I'm falling for her.
Erin tells me that Anna thinks she loves me.
I find myself happier than I've ever been.

That's it in a nutshell. So you see, the thing that brought me to this moment of extreme happiness is the same thing that brought me so much pain and misery when it happened. I don't see how anybody could look at that chain of events and chalk it all up to coincidence.

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3

You know what's great about being good friends with one of your girlfriend's best friends? Information.

Erin told me that Anna thinks that she loves me. I was speechless when she told me.

Now I'm not sure if I want to wait until she decides to tell me, or if I should just say it. I'll say it here, just so I can get it out.

I love her.

If she doesn't tell me before our one month, I'm gonna say it. I probably won't be able to last that long, but deadlines help me. haha...

Anyway... that's all the news for now... TTYL

Update!

We interrupt our normal broadcast to bring you..........
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NOTHING! HAHAHAHAHA

I bet you thought that I was going to have a bunch of great stuff to tell you.


Seriously though... Things are going pretty well at CTC. We finished cleaning the kitchens this week and we got our text books. So on Tuesday, we're going over our homework assignment and watching Ratatouille. Speaking of which... I still need to do that assignment... Hm... I'll do it sometime tomorrow morning. It should only take half an hour or so, so yeah...

I spent today with Anna. It was a lot of fun. I kinda wish that it would've ended better though. Let me explain... I started to go in for a kiss, but I chickened out at the very last moment and hugged her instead. I feel like a complete moron, and I've been kicking myself since I got into my car.

Two weeks, and I haven't even kissed her on the cheek... ARGH! I'm such a $@*&ing coward!

*Bangs head on desk* @_@

Anyway... I'm really having a bit of an emotional crisis. I'm terrified because I'm finding myself in a situation that I've never been in before. I have absolutely no idea what to do, or how to do it. It makes me feel so stupid, especially when I know what I should do, but can't bring myself to do it.

I've decided that I'm going to kiss her before our 1 month. I don't know what I'm going to do if I don't, but I'll think of something.


Well, I think that's it for now. Still no updates for ED or BH. Sorry.

TTYL